Only Ever Me

Be brave little one, though your body is all atremble, your mind is so nimble. You know when to speak, and you know when to breathe and you know to keep an open window near to hand when you can no longer make a stand but must slip away until morning. Little one you have always been strong and even though it is so very wrong to know all that you know so young, your spirit is hard wrung and your strength is unsung but your soul is a beautiful riddle. Little one if I could hold you close and give you the kind touch you crave it would not help you be brave. Every little kindness shown is a weed sown that cracks your precious facade. Your pain is unbearable, your loneliness is palpable, your world so small and savage. I know your secret hideways. I know your little tricks. I know your little mossy glade where first you felt awake. Where you felt at one with the earth and sun so far up high. I know those stolen mornings when you journeyed in the blue dawn. I know your darkest hatreds and your highest highs. I know how your heart ached when you wished to dash away, only to crash to the ground at the end of every damned day. To find a home or live alone, just anywhere far away. I know how far you will come and I know the decisions you must make. I wish it could be kinder, this journey you must take. I wish that I could say it would pass at long last. But you should know what’s at stake, you should know it never ends. Little one even now the journey just begins. Wake and sleep is meshed so deep sometimes you can’t tell them apart. Black or white, everything is gray. Your heart no longer knows the way. Little one here is the cost of survival: your past is merely a revival. Everyday you fight to forget and the harder you fight the less that you win. Little one it’s only me, and sweetheart we still wish to flee… we never thought to live past you but now we’ve passed on to me… darling I don’t know what to do or how to be. Will we ever be free? We fought the fates and rewrote our stars but in the end the tapestry is marred. The hole in your chest, just under your breast, still aches with the desire for more. Little one we made the finish. But there was no Prince with a kiss. We never found that pure love sound. We just fought and fought and fought…. but now… what’s left little one? My dear, sing your little lullaby and cry that silent tear. Little one despite the distance I am always near.

Authors blurb: I wonder what I could say to myself if I ever went back in time and had the chance to give little Wild a pep talk. I went through terribly horrifying things as a child. I never truly got to be the child version of myself. When I was young I merely wanted to know that someone was there and understood what I was going through. The only person I ever had was me. But when I think about it now… I would have loved for me then to meet me now. 🙂


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