Sandman’s Song

Sandman’s dust falling gently down

I lay my head upon the ground

I know not when I will wake

I pray no more, I’ve had all my soul can take

If wishes were kisses, I wouldn’t sleep alone

Sandman, throw an old friend a bone

Sift your soot heavy, let me close my eyes

And leave me dreamless tonight

Sandman please come sing to me.

But please dear friend don’t let me dream.

Let my eyes close heavy and soft

Hold the dramas of my day aloft

Tonight, I beg just for peaceful rest.

My heart won’t hold up, I must confess,

to what ends up another broken, dreadful mess.

My demons’ dust drifting gently down

I lay my head upon the ground

I know not if I should ever wake

I feel relief that I have no soul to take

If wishes were kisses, I wouldn’t sleep alone

Demon throw your tortured heart a bone

Keep your hand heavy tonight, let me close my eyes

And leave me dreamless this night

Send those dreams to younger souls

Embrace them close in tight holds

But please, my dear, don’t make me dream

Your dreams you should keep, For others not so broken as I

For I know the truth-they are a beautiful lie

Give me oblivion’s sweet kiss;

for the night let me have this

Nightmare dust drifting gently down

I lay my head upon the ground

I think no more shall I have to wake

One more day and my mind will break

If wishes were kisses, I wouldn’t sleep alone

Nox throw your weary sweetheart a bone

Keep the moon dark tonight, let me close my eyes

Leave me without the dreams I can’t fight

So I can face the mornings’ light

Sandman you know me through and through,

my darkest nights, my starkest truths

So, send me to sleep like a tired star.

Turn out my light, feel my breathing deepen and stretch so far…

Sandman spin some dust to me.

Please, please tonight just let me be.

A dreamless sleep I beg of thee

Let me ride that dark crest

Into mornings burning light

Where the sunshine is far too bright

Where unforgiving day begins

Where sleeping innocence ends

Just let me sleep alone this night

Impossible ideals and perfect pasts

These perverted natures do not last

For once awake again I know

Let my sleep be quiet; Let it be a peaceful rest

No dreams to crush this tired heart

Just healing slumber for a brand-new start

Sandman’s dust falling gently down

I lay my head upon the ground

I know not when I will wake

I pray no more, I’ve had all my soul can take

If wishes were kisses, I wouldn’t sleep alone

Sandman, throw an old friend a bone

Sift your soot heavy, let me close my eyes

And leave me dreamless tonight

Tonight, you rest, you have earned this breath

Tomorrow you will be strong

I have made my claim, I have your name

You will be my shining star

Close your eyes and your heart, let tonight be the start

Of the rest of your many days

My wish is my kiss, where my lips touched your brow

Brave little star, be well

Sandman’s dust sinking softly down

Lay your head upon the ground

Tomorrow when your mighty heart shall wake

You shall make the very mountains quake

If wishes were kisses, you would never sleep alone

Sandman throw your old friend a bone

Sifting soot, falling stars, steady light, from afar

Close your eyes,

Be Dreamless tonight

Authors blurb:

Sandman’s Song is a combination of Dreamless, I beg thee and Sandman please… Then glued with a good dose of darkness. My great friend Annie read Sandman, please… And asked if I could rewrite it into a song. I agreed, excited, having no idea what I was doing. After a few weeks which became a month or two of pondering I finally got the itch to write and I sat down to wrestle with this song idea. Funny enough it just flowed out of me as if it had been waiting all this time.

Sandman’s Song is about an exhausted woman (or man if you prefer) who just needs a good night’s rest. She’s tired beyond her limits and she doesn’t want to dream about the day or adventures or nonsense, she wants the soul deep sleep that heals on an emotional level where you wake up and dont know what day or year it is.

Sandman hears her, this daughter he favors with so many wonderful dreams, and grants her the rest she wishes for, telling her as he kisses her goodnight that she will wake to change the world after a good night’s sleep.

I wrote it with this rock ballad feel in my mind.

I hope you enjoy.

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Missing them

Hanging from my hip
Hiding in my shadow

Just when I think I’ve given them the slip

I see them pacing close and slow
For they are never truly gone

Though my happy heart does wish

For those days I’m in the sun

Feeling life’s happy kiss
I’m not evil for wishing to no longer hurt

For feeling sick at remembering this

I wasn’t ready till that day

But they had already fled away
I can’t see them; I just know

Others have their pink and blue day

I won’t think about tiny shoes and seeds to sow

I just want the memory to go away
They couldn’t feel the hesitant love

Behind the fear

The decorations or second hand baby stuff

The frightened lullabies I practiced, they didn’t hear

The little toes I never got to touch
They are gone and I’m still here

No one had any idea how hard that was to endure

How I wanted to stop

To talk

They existed for me

I couldn’t mention them

I still can’t

I never got to say hello

I never said goodbye
Hanging from hip

Hiding in my shadow
Shades of what could have been 

But only pretend memories

Dear gods don’t make me live with this

Just let it go away 

Authors blurb: I thought a long time about wether to post this one. Like it says I truly just long to forget. And I’m not evil for that. I had a miscarriage a few years ago. It was twins. I was young and scared and though I was married I knew I would be alone. The stress was too much. I spent many years hating myself because while pregnant I could only think how I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want this yet. The day I lost them I realized how much I wanted them. I wasn’t far along. It was still the first trimester. But it destroyed me. Years later it only deeply hurts when it catches me off guard but it still makes me a little sad quite often. I wonder what they would have been like… How it would have been. But I am happy where I am. And it took a lot of strength to get here. 

Vulnerable 

Don’t look into my eyes

Because you just might see

A deeper side of me.

All you visualize

 

When you look at my face

Is a cheerful smile

Carefully fixed

Into place.

 

Don’t look into my eyes,

I am warning you.

You might find my heart

Enshrouded in ice.

 

Do you see the slashes

From a lovers thorough knife?

Do you see the pain,

How I hurt from the gashes?

 

Don’t look into my eyes

Because you just might see,

A gentle, more vulnerable

Side to me.
Authors blurb: i wrote this in high school. I was on my own for the first time and lonely and wanting to open up but scared to. 

Sometimes

Sometimes 

Sometimes we see things that aren’t meant to be seen.

Sometimes things aren’t always as they seem.

Sometimes we need someone to call our own,

Especially when we’re alone.

Sometimes people just can’t understand,

Why things get out of hand.

Sometimes life just isn’t fair,

Especially when people just don’t care.

And sometimes it’s hard to say,

Why things have to be this way.

Sometimes it’s all you can do to get by,

Especially when dreams continue to die.

Sometimes it’s nice to sit in the rain.

Even to just relieve the pain.

And when we’ve had a really bad day,

Sometimes we just need to get away.

We never know what’s wrong with out pain.

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
And sometimes when people get hurt, 

Even the strongest ones may need comfort.

 

 

 

Illegitimi non carborundum – Never let the bastards wear you down.

Remembered

The gentle drip of the rain
Blends easily with the tish tish of

The grass. The wind is gentle today

And merely gives my cheek the brush

Of a kiss before she is gone again.

The chime hung from the roof mutely clangs

The world is so quiet. . .

The windows are all shut

I silently sit in my Lovers misty arms

A ghost figure who comes with the rain.

The moon sheds tiny tears which gather on the leaves.

Rat race 

A star falls

And the Heavens cry

Time Crawls

Its destination for another world to die

 

We waste our time

With foolish pursuits

We laugh; We cry; We die

So many trillions of identical tin men

 

We build our cities of sin

Running a race we will never win

 

We have so little time

Why cannot humanity see

Within this little rhyme

A much bigger scheme?

 

Hate

I hate Hate.

And betrayal of any kind.

Feeling alone in the world.

Feeling left behind.

I hate having lost

When I haven’t yet begun.

I hate knowing I have to let go,

To love him with all of my heart.

And knowing all the time it is going,

That it will not be returning.

I hate being right,

When the outcome is wrong.

I hate you who think you are better.

I hate when they treat me less.

I hate the loneliness I feel.

As I wait for him to call.

And knowing that he won’t.

I hate anxiety and frustration.

Feeling as if I can’t breathe…

Knowing that in the end,

It’s a losing battle I lead.

Goddess of the sky

I feel the teardrops falling from the sky. They gently graze my lips, a sweetly tender kiss before they drop. The thunderheads, they violently boil, I feel they mirror the sickness in my heart. The thunder clashes, unleashing the screams I will not let past the terror in my throat. The light is harsh and reveals that which mine own eyes hide from. The wind tears the earth apart and throws it back together again. It is my hate unchecked. I twist my fingers and hurricanes tail down; their dance of destruction is beautiful. I slam my fists into the ground and watch the earth split wide. Waves of ocean swallow up the land… 

I blink back my tears and hold my head high. Your taunts cannot reach me. In my world, I am Goddess of the sky.

Cydney’s Story

In the beginning when the air was new, the mountains fresh and the sky a brilliant hue we of this age have never seen, Mother earth gave birth to a beautiful son.

He had dark hair the color of fresh loam and skin like new mint leaves and white wings akin to clouds. He was a son of the Earth and Sky in every way and his mother loved him the most of all her sons and daughters as did everyone who met him. He grew to be strong and handsome.

Soon, Brother Wind became jealous of the baby brother, and desired to lay a curse on him. He sent crows and ravens to pluck the feathers from his wings, and in the process they scarred his face horribly. Satisfied that his work was finished, for who would now want this ugly, scarred, brother of the earth now? Brother Wind ran back to his cave in the mountains and hid.

When Mother Earth found her bleeding and beaten young son she wept and the sky wept, the ocean swelled and keened and the sun hid his face. They all came together and in a rage they cursed the Brother Wind, causing him to be forever on the run, for if they ever caught him he would die a thousand deaths.

Brother Wind went into hiding, beginning a run that would last until the end of time. Then they all cried as if the beloved son were dead.

Father Time, keeper of the nether realms heard their keening and admonished them, “The boy is not dead, for this should you not rejoice?” But they only sobbed all the harder and pointed to the scars and the skeleton wings of the boy laying curled under their gaze, broken and hurt. Father Time shook his head sadly. “Son you have learned the lesson it takes many lifetimes to learn, often life is not easy or fair, and it always leaves scars behind. Now for the second lesson, there is life after the death of naivety.”

Father time then made a hard decision; he gave the sad son a golden watch. “This shall help you in the task that your life shall now be devoted to. Having had such a hard lesson, and bearing the scars, I think you can be compassionate and kind enough to help others.” The son did not think this at all but kept this counsel to himself, knowing how wise Father Time was and having no other options for himself but disgraced death.

“Son you shall escort the dead and dying on their last journey to Peace.” The Son found this to be an unfair task as he could never imagine himself to be at peace with the world again.
Rather than reject his task he bowed his head and agreed. 
Mother Earth made a cloak and gave it to her son to cover the horrible scars, a cloak all the colors of the earth. Rich browns and greens with subtle yellows and blues. Brother Sun provided a weapon to protect himself with and so that nothing could bar his way. Sister Sea bestowedwhat little peace and healing she could on his on his soul​ and body. 

 Before leaving him Father Time made a solemn promise to the Son, that one day he would find a companion who understood his soul and didn’t see his scars, only his beauty. A wonderful soul mate who would understand his pain and help to assuage it. And when he did, the clock would cease to tick, he would lay down his scythe and take her up from death, and together they would dance through time and beyond to love and happiness.

The ceasing of the clock would be heralded by 3 doves, warned Father Time, and the son must always be on the lookout, with an open heart and mind. As his last parting words to the battered soul of the Broken Son, Father Time said, “Three things to remember, Time heals all things. This too shall pass. And it is ok to be broken.” And bearing this advice the Broken Son did his duties and brought peace to infinite numbers, helping to soothe and ease their transition. And one day, in his darkest moments of self doubt, the son was visited by three doves, just as he heard the watch cease to tick…

Authors blurb: this was written and illustrated for a dear friend who had been through some terrible things in her life. I took her story, her tattoos and her (then fiancé) husbands grim reaper tattoos, I twisted them together to make a fantasy story. I gave it to them as a wedding gift. 

Cold Heart

You know that cold you feel
When your body is no longer real

When your fingers are hard and stiff

And it is so troublesome to sift

Through the thoughts plunging wild in your head

And your vision become blurry with tears

That streak and then freeze on your face

Your skin burns; it is on fire

Your head aches and your lungs hurt

You can’t move

You’re so numb

And you’re growing frost flowers on your cheek

When you breathe

And you wish…

…If only

 

…you could speak…